My Journey with HIM

Turning...OLD

2009-07-18T00:01:00.001+08:00

So today, 18th July, I'm 20 years old. Can you believe it? 20! And if you don't think it's old, think again.

I was chatting with my cousin on msn and he asked how I was doing. And I said, "I'm alright. Feeling cranky. But I guess that's what it means to get old huh?" Then he replied, "Getting old? Oh yes! Happy birthday!" And when I said that whole feeling-cranky-is-what-it-means-to-get-old, I wasn't even thinking of my birthday. Wasn't even thinking the reason I feel cranky/old was because I'm getting a year older. It all came too...naturally. Naturally OLD. Gosh, I don't know why, but just after dinner I suddenly felt so cranky. Just didn't feel like talking. Didn't even feel like watching a favourite programme on TV. Turning old?? I hope not. I don't want to be a cranky, miserable old lady. I want to be a jolly, enthusiastic, passionate woman.

Looking back at my life, I have to say, I feel pretty grateful for it. I mean of course, there's been ups and downs. Sadness and happiness. Mishaps. Suffering (not a lot and not physically. Don't get me wrong lol). Embarrassments ;). Joy. Love. Hope. Fun. And most importantly, God has been so great in my life. From the way He brought me to Him, to the awesome ways He has worked in my life, to the guidance He has given me, to the prayers He has answered for me. It's been awesome. Even though I keep disappointing Him, He never forsake me. Even though I left Him sometimes, He never left me.

Dear Lord,

I'm sorry for the many things I've done that've disappointed and upset You. Father, even as I grow a year older, all I want is to grow stronger in our relationship. To grow stronger in love. To learn more from You and to obey You in everything I do. Father, all I want is to draw closer to You, and not forsaking You again, ever. Thank You Lord for the many amazing things You have done in my life. Though I don't deserve it, but still You made the impossible happen. For me. Thank You Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

There's no place like home =)

2009-07-07T00:54:00.003+08:00

So I arrived Malaysia on 25th June at about 6pm. And the moment I stepped out of the airplane I felt the heat, and I felt like I was walking through a wall of tiny water droplets. That's Malaysia alright. Hot and humid. Not complaining, just feels good to be home =)

Funny thing happened when I walked out from the "no declaration" lane, the first people I saw were Jo Ann's parents. My eyes scan around the area for my parents and brother. No sign of them. Haha for a moment I thought they were still stuck in a jam or something. Greeted Jo Ann's parents for a few minutes, then turned around and finally, I saw my brother. Haha actually my mom and bro had been in the airport earlier but my mom had to go and use the toilet.

I actually planned to have Indian food that night for dinner, but my brother suggested Thai food instead. Fine by me =) I love Thai food too. Hehe. Went to megamall and had dinner with my aunts and uncles, my mom's sisters and brothers. And I felt it was the best "Welcome home" present. Dinner with family =). Of course, all were busy nagging me about my full-of-pimples face and commenting on my not-so-fair skin but otherwise, it was fun to have them there =).

Despite being glad to be home, I still can't help but worry about some things. Like getting an internship here or at least some sort of a work experience. And brushing up on my french and taking some french classes so that it won't be so hard next year when I take level 2 french. And worrying about the flat arrangements, the payments and the contracts. Sigh. I've been here for a little more than a week already, still nothing definite planned out for the 3 months I will be here. I can't help but feel like I'm going to regret it later if I don't start moving my butt and doing something useful soon. But yet, I feel so lazy to look for internships or french classes. And, my spiritual growth has been stunted again. All thanks to this thing called "laziness". I really really need to buck up.

I've been reading this book called "I dared to call Him Father". It's about a woman who was a Muslim in Pakistan and she converted into a Christian. And the book tells about how God is so so very real to her. And how He guides her through every step she takes. It's because of her obedience to God, and how she surrenders completely to Him. It's just challenging me so much to be like that. To surrender. To not worry about my future. To not feel insecure. To have someone steer me in the right direction and help me through the obstacles. Like I've said before, I cannot let Him go. I cannot push Him away. I need to cling on to Him.

Time to stop being lazy, Joanne. Time to step out of your comfort zone.

I don't know how to end this post. And this is going to be pretty random. But I have a mosquito bite on my eyebrow. There IS no place like home.

Rant!

2009-06-18T06:21:00.002+08:00

Am not feeling very happy. Just feel like ranting. I guess I care too much? Care too much about what people think about me. Try too hard to make people like me. Read people's actions and words too much. But, then again, people act the way they do for a reason, no?

So what if I'm flawed? So what if I do some things differently then others? So what if I can't do most things people can? I'm not perfect, only human.

It's time to stop, Joanne. Time to stop caring so much bout what people think about you. Time to accept people's criticism and not take it too hard. Time to learn to smile and joke about your own flaws.

And time to stop ranting. On a brighter note, I'm going home soon. =) Can't wait.

Human Nature

2009-06-04T07:32:00.002+08:00

It is human nature to put ourselves 1st before anyone else.

It is human nature to offend others out of jealousy.

It is human nature to be stingy.

It is human nature to have rage and resentment.

It is human nature to boast.

It is human nature to blame others.

It is human nature to be impatient with one another.

Is human nature really the excuse for us to act in these ways? Are we supposed to say, "I am not God, I'm just human" every time we fail to care? No. We are humans, that's right. We sin and sometimes we become selfish and think of our needs instead of others. But does that mean we should be doing so? Does that mean we should all just act in the ways above and say, "Oh I'm sorry, I'm just human."

James 4:10 - Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Easier said than done? No offense, but I find that phrase so dumb. Obviously things are easier said than done. If that's the case we don't need to do anything then. Cause after all, it's "Easier said than done".

Every single thing we do, we need to put in the effort. Studying to go to college, working to put food on the table, do all these just appear in front of us? No. Same thing with our attitude towards others. Do we expect ourselves to "naturally" be caring, loving, generous, etc? No. Even we need to put in the effort to shape our attitude to be the person God wants us to be. Sure we're not doing it alone. God will be there to shape us as well. But are we supposed to sit there and say, "OK God. Change me now." and be changed overnight?

Many times I tried to be loving, generous, and caring to others. And many times, I fail. I just give up and feel like I don't want to care anymore. I don't want to be a doormat and all. But then this verse comes to mind.

Galatians 6:9 - Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

You don't need people to treat you nice first for you to treat them nice. Jesus did not believe in "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth". Let us not be weary in doing good. Let us not expect any return when we do good. The only return we need is to have Him smile down on us, and making Him proud.

So let us be inhuman. Let us not conform to the ways of the world. Let us be different, and make a difference in others as well.

I'm a Kris Allen fan yo! =)

2009-05-24T06:05:00.003+08:00

For American Idol this season, my favourite was actually Allison. And I was sad when she got voted off, I really wanted her to win, but when it was just down to the three guys I started being a Kris Allen fan! Haha. And I'm glad he won =) Although I have to say he doesn't have the best vocal, but he's just so creative and his arrangement of "aint no sunshine" was so beautiful.

I was just checking out facebook and I saw this Kris Allen fan's page and so I became a fan and I was just checking out the links that were posted there and I came across this video. And waddaya know? Kris Allen's a Christian and I think he's a worship leader in his church or something (not sure). But yea, it was great to hear him sing praises to the Lord. Just somehow puts a smile on my face =)

And there were comments on the video saying they hope he sings for God and not sing secular music. But I think, and I believe, whether he sings secular music or not doesn't matter, as long as he doesn't forget his believes and makes decisions that make Him proud. Just because he sings about say love to a girl instead of to the Lord doesn't make him a bad Christian or something.

I truly believe that He'll guide Kris in everything that he does and I just pray and hope that he'll make the right choices in life. Kris, whatever you do I hope you remember Him always and I pray that you'll put your trust Him, cause He'll lead you to the right direction =) And I pray that your faith will never waver and that you'll cling on to Him always.

God bless! And enjoy the video =)

I'm back =)

2009-05-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

I'm back! After a loooooong time! Haha actually I didn't want to blog today but the temptation was just too strong somehow I don't know why. =) I guess my mood to blog is back? ;)

I've been having exams since Monday, and in fact have one more paper left next Tuesday (which was why I didn't want to blog today because technically I'm still having exams). Haha. Gosh it's been 6 months since my last post? Haha oops! ><

The whole 9 months that I've been here in London has been a roller coaster ride. Emotionally and spiritually. I've been building this wall between Him and me. Somehow. And I have to say, it really sucks living without Him. I guess I can say today is the day, I'm starting to tear down this wall. I'm sick and tired of living without Him. This life has been so purposeless without Him. I've been going through life here doing things just for sake of knowing that it's the right thing to do, instead of doing it because I want to; instead of doing it because I have a God in me, and His actions are reflected in mine. To the point that at one moment I actually lost my identity. I just suddenly don't know who I am anymore. The world is too scary and cruel for me to live alone. I need someone. I need Him =)

I've been wanting to run back into His arms some time ago. But everytime I want to do that I feel so hypocritical. It's like, it's only when exams are coming that I want Him. And everytime I want to ask for His help and strength I keep thinking to myself, "Who am I to ask for His help when I've forsaken Him all this while? What makes me think He is going to help me when I've blocked Him out of my life for such a long time?" And I'll feel so guilty, because it's like I'm using Him. And yet I know how hurtful it is to be used.

Then today I was listening to the song "Who am I" by Casting Crowns, and it really hit me.

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

This is who I am. So small and worthless, but worth so much to Him. Such a nobody, and yet He hears us all. This is who I am --->> 1 John 3:1 : "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are....."

That is what I am. His child.

I want that kind of relationship with You again Lord. I don't want to fall away, I don't want to go the opposite direction, I want to go back to You. I don't want You just for the sake of exams. I want You everyday, every minute, every second. I need to continue clinging on to Him even after exams. I hope I won't build anymore walls between me and my Father. I don't want to disappoint Him and use Him anymore. I don't want Him just to get straight A's or good grades or a successful life. I just want Him.

God bless to all you people living in this world. It's not easy, so cling on to Him, because He's the only one who can help you through this journey called life.

Btw, home, I'm coming =))

updates

2008-11-17T06:27:00.002+08:00

Hey sorry people for not blogging for such a long time. Got caught up with settling here and homework! Gosh. Not easy man. LOL especially economics. Apparently the lecturer taught the whole A levels of economics in 2 lectures? I don't think it's that exaggerated. But yea, lots of things going on.

Can't blog about everything's that happened since my last post, so I'm just going to tell you guys the funny stuffs =)

Went to nottingham for the Malaysia Nottingham Games last week. It was fun. Met up with ex-classmates from college who were from Cambridge, Imperial, UCL, etc. Had a great time with them. Really missed them. Somehow I'm more...open when I'm with them. More hyped. I know when I came to london I wanted to do that too. To be hyped and full of passion. I guess I didn't prepare myself well enough before I came. But it's been only ... close to 2 months?? Gosh..I've been here THAT long?? Gosh..time DOES fly. =(

Oh wait, I'm supposed to tell funny stuffs not sad stuffs. LOL. Ok so, in my room there's a window and it's facing the other side of the hall. So if I stick my head out the window I basically see other people's rooms. Don't worry they have curtains so I don't go peeking into other people's rooms. LOL. But yea, one night, there was a sudden burst of music. Really loud, sort of rock music coming out from one of the rooms. And I heard a girl shouting something and the music went softer. Then I heard her say sarcastically, "Can you put it any louder?" And the guy answered, "Huh? Louder?" LOL. And I, being a real busy body, opened the window and stuck my head out. I looked up, and there was no one. Then as I looked down, there was this guy's head stuck out of the window, about 2 floors below me. He looked at me, smiled, and waved at me! =.= It was the most random thing. Haha I was so shocked I just stared. LOL.

And then last night, it happened again. I don't know if it was the same guy. But the song he was banging was "All by myself" by Celine Dion. It was so so loud, my room mate and I opened the window to and looked out. We couldn't tell where the music was coming from. My room mate was like, "Man...that guy must be really lonely."And the room right opposite my window, was this guy also looking out his window. And when he saw us he smiled. LOL. Guess he was just as shocked as we were. LOL. These people and their randomness. Funny, but if he sets off loud music in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping, I'll whack him!

Alot of other random things happened too but, too much to write it all down. People in london are so RANDOM! LOL. I hope I won't be?

Ok..time to go back to HOMEWORK! Tatas!

Updates!

2008-10-11T03:56:00.002+08:00

Hey people!! I'm so so sorry for not updating my blog. Getting here and settling down was kind of a challenge but hey, here I am! Better late than never :)

When I was in the plane on the way here, I was already feeling homesick. And when I got here, I hated London. Somehow I felt Malaysia was better than London. In some ways, it is. But that only got me miserable and sad. I kept asking the question again and again; do I want to live in London in the future? Do I want to spend the rest of my life here? I kept complaining to my mom about it. And this is what she said to me :

Remember the reason you are here. To get a good education. To get the education Malaysia could not provide you with. To study. Don't keep thinking about living here long term or something. Think I'm here to study.

She is the best. As I start my university life, I began to like London more and more. Actually more like liking LSE. It was different then what I expected. In some ways a good different, some ways a bad different. But oh well, balance I guess.

And now, everytime that question pops up in my head, I know how to answer it.

So yea, life has been pretty good here. The first week was just briefing and there was Fresher's Fayre. That is when everyone goes to sign up for the societies they want to. My gosh, there were so many societies! I joined the Amnesty International, the Malaysia Society, The Actuarial Science society, The Finance Society, Christian Fellowship, RAG (Raising and Giving), The Maths and Stats Society, The Music Society...what else? LOL too much? Yea, I thought so. Sigh, I couldn't help it. There were so many more societies I wanted to join.

On the second week, lectures started. Lectures has got like 500 over people in one theatre. HUGE crowd. Because there are other people from other courses also taking the same subject. First year subjects are quite general. My subjects are Mathematics, Statistics, Economics B and Abstract Maths. Only in my second year will it be more specific to Actuarial Science. So far the lectures have been quite good. Next week, classes will start. Classes are different than lectures in a way that classes consist of about 15 students and 1 class teacher is assigned to each class.

One of the things I really love about LSE is the Student Union. They represent the students' voice to the administrative office. They have weekly general meetings and I went for the 1st one yesterday. It was amazing. Those with motions will give a short speech and those who go against the motion will speak against them. Sort of like a debate. Wow they had so many motions. And the way they debated was so exciting!! LOL. I was pumped up too. Haha. But yea, I guess listening to them debating opened my mind and challenged me to speak up and answer tough questions on the spot. Still abit timid, but gotta pray for courage to speak up and the wisdom of words to say.

I have so much more to say. But I have homework to do! Economics homework is due on Sunday! Haha because the homework is online. So yea, I'll be back to tell you guys more exciting and awesome stories happening in LSE and in London.

Miss you all!

LONDON

2008-10-01T05:19:00.002+08:00

So much to say. Don't know where to start. But no time to write. Cause there's so many things to do. For starters, my room's a mess. I really need to start arranging my stuffs. And I have to start budgeting. I've been using money and not keeping track of it.

Will come back later when I have more time in my hands. Like maybe tomorrow. :)

Tatas

Sighhhhh

2008-09-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

I just submitted my documents for student visa. Please God, please give me my student visa!! :S So scared I'll get rejected or something.

Started packing. I know it's going to be really overweight :D. And I haven't finish!

Need to do chest X-ray. And medical examination. Sigh.

Farewell parties........Why can't I have it on a weekday? Everyone's so busy on a weekday. I'm so free on a weekday! LOL. So mean right, sorry lar. It's just that weekends everyone's squeezing something in. Come on! I've only got 4 days of weekend left! :S

Sighhhh. So many things to do in such little time.

And I have to take Meningitis C vaccination in London! =( Oh I hate injections. =(

Ahhhhhhh!!

The beginning of a journey

2008-08-31T16:54:00.003+08:00

I've seriously lost the mood to blog. Everytime I feel like sharing something, I come online but I feel so lazy to blog. LOL. I still haven't even taken the photos of my birthday party from my dad's laptop. But anyway, I had my birthday dinner in Xenri restaurant. Had great food :D. The end. Lol.

About another 4 weeks till I leave Malaysia. I'm so scared. I haven't been sleeping well the past 2 nights. Don't know if it's because I'm scared about going to London or something else. Started packing already. Hopefully my luggages won't be over weight. I hope they'll upgrade me to business class :D:D. Not only because of comfort, but also because business class allows 2 hand luggages. My mom wants me to bring my violin along, which is considered a hand luggage. I haven't been playing with my violin for a very very long time. I hope the strings are still fine. *Oops*.

I was reading the LSE Student Union guide last night. It made my excited. And scared! It's exciting to join the many different activities LSE's going to have. There's this event that really caught my eyes. It's called Reclaim The Night march, a women-only march against rape and male violence. I really want to go. It's going to be an eye-opening event. My mom was a little worried though when she heard about this march. But the book assures that it'll be a safe event.

There're also information about transport, night clubs, food, markets, etc. It's going to be a totally different environment for me. There'll be lots of debates and talks bout current issues, environmental issues, and issues like equality between men and women, etc. I just hope I won't be too timid to discuss about them. I hope I'm brave enough to speak my mind, no matter how dumb I might sound, no matter how shallow I might sound. I just hope and pray for the courage to speak. And hopefully learn lots from other people.

I've been really lazy this past couple of days. Don't know why. I need to start being alert, start reading all about economics. I can't be lazy anymore! I can't! *Slaps self*

It's the end of a journey, and yet a beginning to another journey. The path looks scary and uncertain, but I know for sure I won't be taking it alone.

I want to stop disappointing You. But everytime I try to pick myself up, I fall again. I need Your strength to pick me up and keep me from falling. I need Your strength to keep me from disappointing You. I want to start anew with You...I want to come back to You...

Can't be lazy! Can't keep disappointing Him! I need strength! I need the passion to work and not just speak!

LSE, you can't scare me! Lol. Being weird huh.

Laazzzyyy!!

2008-08-15T17:09:00.002+08:00

Wow..I haven't posted anything for almost a month! I don't know why but everytime I open my blog I feel so lazy to update it. So much for having a blog. Well, got to wait for inspiration to come =)

I know I'm supposed to upload my birthday pictures but erm, I haven't even gotten them from my dad yet >.< I'll get it and upload it...when I have the mood. ;)

Haven't been doing anything useful for the hols. Just the usual eat, sleep, watch tv, go online, shop abit here and there. Kit Yan and Clarice have been driving me around. Watching movies, eating dinner and crashing in each other's house. Hehehe thanks girls! >.<

I really wanted to go overseas for the holidays but so far the furthest I've been from home is Ipoh. I just came back from Ipoh actually. Putting on alot of weight! :( Sigh, I really need to start losing weight! Can't wait for next week though! Shen's coming back from UK! Yay! And we'll be going to genting with Kit Yan, Clarice and Joanna! Oh I can't wait!!

An amazing thing happened to me last week! I got 4 A's for A levels!! Praise God!! I really couldn't believe it. I got A for further maths! And Physics! LOL I actually kind of gave up on Physics. It's so hard! But thank God I got A for it! He IS awesome! I never thought I would get straight A's for A levels. And that means I'm going to LSE!! Yay! And if all goes well, I'll be sharing a room with Wei Tse! Double yay! Haha.

I'm actually having mixed feelings about LSE. I'm feeling excited, nervous, happy, scared, insecure...and alot more. I'm happy to go to LSE but I'm scared of living on my own (sort of). I'm excited to meet new people there but I'm scared I can't mix well. I'm excited to study in LSE! But I'm feeling insecure. I'm afraid I can't keep up and I'll drop out of uni! :S

But I'll always remember what Kit Yan said :

"God has brought you this far in life. He's given you straight A's for your A levels, allowing you to go to LSE. What makes you think He won't be with you then?" (something like that)

It's true. He has been helping me and guiding me through life. Never in my life would I thought of getting straight A's for SPM but He made it happen. Never in my life would I thought of getting straight A's for A levels but He made it happen. He made everything I thought was impossible possible. Even when I let Him down so many times He still helped me. I should really stop disappointing my Big Daddy.

So here I am! Going to LSE feeling scared and insecure, but I'll put my faith in Him! Even if I should fall flat on my face, I'll still put my faith in Him and just pray for His strength to pick me up. =D

This is what happens when I don't update my blog. I get long-winded. (*blush*). Lastly I just want to say all the best to Chong Wei! I really hope he can make it to the finals and get Malaysia the gold!

* I should really update my blog more often. Make it short and sweet =D*

Horrible in directions

2008-07-19T23:18:00.001+08:00

I'm so horrible in directions. Honestly! And today I wasn't the only one.

I went for Korean Stone BBQ with Kit Yan, Joanna and Clarice for dinner. It was fun BBQing the fish, chicken and lamb, and also eating steamboat. The only thing was that the BBQ made our faces oily and the hot butter from the pot kept splashing and burning us as we were cooking the meat. Otherwise, it was fun. Really missed hanging out with Kit Yan, Joanna and Clarice. Someone was missing though. At least she's coming back in August, then we'll get to hang out! ;)

After dinner, I sat in Kit Yan's car and Joanna sat in Clarice's car and we went to some hill to see the view of KL. It was awesome to see the lights lighting up KL at night. After that, I followed Clarice's car to go home while Joanna followed Kit Yan's car to go back to their place.

And guess what? Clarice and I got lost! LOL! It was so funny. We took the wrong turning and ended up in the middle ring road heading towards KLIA. We actually passed Cheras and we passed Kit Yan's church (Charis Christian Centre). Fortunately, we managed to take a U-turn and head home. A little late but at least we found our way home. Embarrassing but hilarious. Haha. I bet Kit Yan and Joanna are going to be laughing their heads off when they hear this story.

LoL I'm really sorry but I'm bad at directions! Haha. Oh well, it was an adventure. Embarrassing but funny adventure. Hehe.

Will blog and post pictures of my birthday celebration as soon as I get the pictures. =) Feeling tired now. So...

Night!

24

2008-07-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

I have about 24 hours to make the most out of my 19th birthday. And somehow I worry that I won't enjoy it as much as I want to. Kind of dumb worrying that way, huh.

*Takes deep breath*

Here goes!

Oh by the way, I just realised..I'm 19. I'll be 20 in a year! Gosh...so old! :S

**Ok ok chill. One at a time, Joanne.

Haha. Enjoy this day! All of you! Because it's my birthday! Haha

Just grateful

2008-07-18T00:10:00.001+08:00

Have you ever taken a step back and just look at your life and think, "Wow...how did I get here?" And I don't mean in a bad way. More like, looking at your life in awe.

Of course there are things in life that didn't quite go my way. There were times when I thought, "Aargh, why did I do that? That was so embarrassing!" or "I wish I never did that, it made my parents/friends/relatives upset." And of course there were times where I look at my life and felt like it was meaningless, thinking, "Why is this happening to me?" or "I wish I was never born into this world."

But the thing that overshadows all these sections of my life, is the thought that goes like this, "Wow, awesome...It's amazing at how God has been working in my life." There are so many things that happened in my life where I thought it was impossible, like it didn't make sense. But it did happen. Coincidence? I don't think so. Because there would've been too many coincidences in my life.

There are many things in life that I do regret. For the times I disappointed my parents. For the times I disappointed God. For the times I fought with my brother. For the times I had stupid fights with some people who could be great friends, but I blew that friendship. If I were given the chance to go back, would I do it all over again? Maybe. Maybe not. Whatever it is, at least now I know what to do if I were to face the same situation in the future. To turn regrets into life lessons.

I do fear the future. The paths I’m going to take. But, at least I do have this security that God will help me through it all.

All in all, I'm just grateful I got this far in life. I'm just grateful that God has been so awesome in my life and that He is still doing awesome stuffs in my life. I'm just grateful for the people around me He blessed me with. I just thank You, God.

Happy 19 to me. =)

=)

2008-06-29T21:04:00.003+08:00

I had the weekend to think things through. About what exactly I'm upset about and what I can do about it.

I'm bumped cause I keep being judged and blamed. It's ok to judge me but I'd rather it be done behind my back rather than at my face.

Then I had a talk with Kit and what she said was right. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. So why am I trying so hard to?

I miss you..But I like it better when you where happy rather than depressed.

Anyway, I've decided not to be sad. Not to be depressed. For what? Over other people? No. I'm going to be happy. To be joyful. A pastor once said, "Be happy. Don't be depressing. Christians are happy people."

So I'm going to be happy. Not sad. Not depressed. Especially not because of other people. I know myself. I know my mom brought me up good. I know what I'm good at I don't have to prove it to anyone.

=) I do feel much better. Because for once I'm learning not to take people's crap and get depressed because of it. =) Not easy to do. But at least I'm learning =)

Cheers!

Ramblings

2008-06-26T23:08:00.003+08:00

I feel like rambling. But nothing seems to be coming out. At least not in words.

To say today is better? Maybe. But not really.

I keep hearing this today -- God has a purpose. Whatever happens God has a purpose. So what is the purpose for this?

I feel so stressed!!!!!! And I don't even have any exams.

I tried not to be depressed. I really do. I really don't want to be so sad. But I can't help it!

As Kit would say, I mix all my problems into one big problem and start rambling about it.

But...what's the problem?

Depressed

2008-06-25T19:33:00.003+08:00

I give up...I seriously give up.

On life...on everything...

Life doesn't seem to have a meaning now.

When I think of the future I feel so...scared. So depressed. I feel like giving up. Not just the "when I'm in university" kind of future. Even tomorrow. Next week. The week after. I feel...like I don't want to go through it.

In one of the lowest point of my life now. Feeling depressed. Feeling useless. Unprepared for the consequences about to hit me right in the face. Feeling judged...wrongly.

Sooooo depressed =(

Chateau Des Lumiere

2008-06-19T00:49:00.033+08:00

That's the theme for my college prom on friday. Don't ask me what it means, I don't know french. LOL. Anyway, I didn't bring my camera along for prom because my camera wasn't working so I just got the pictures from Han Yang and Yao Siang. Thanks you guys!

Good news and bad news. Good news: it was pretty fun. Ate my money's worth like Kit Yan said. And had fun taking pictures and seeing people dressed up and there were some pretty cool performances especially the ones by the lecturers.

Bad news: I look horrible in the prom pics. Not all but most of them. My arm looks gigantic! Gosh. This really calls for a diet! And exercise. :(

Not going to write much, just going to let the pictures speak for themselves :) Enjoy!

A band. Played a few songs.

FOOD!!

Prom King and Queen having a go at the dance floor

Talk to the hand! LOL.

Shy? ;)

Wei Tse and me

Su Lyn, Wei Tse and me

Wei, me, Su Lyn, Fifi! Hehe*she hates that I call her fifi*

The girls with Ms Ching, the maths teacher

The girls (7 girls in a classroom of 20+)

The guys (not all are here)

This..I have to say, is pretty awesome! The lecturers dancing!

The class (not all here though)

The class with Ms Tang, our further maths 2 teacher.

Weeeeee......

Us with further maths 1 teacher, Mr Peter. One of a kind.

Kok Foong, Su Lyn, Wei Tse, me

Meng Kit, Azrul, Wei, me

Han Yang with us.

Tian Yi and Afiqah. The class is always teasing them. They do look cute together, don't they ;)

Roses.

Well, that's all the pictures I am posting. It's almost 3am now. Takes a long time to upload all these pictures. *Yawn*, before I sleep just want to say a few words about my class.

It has been great to have these guys and girls as my classmates for a year and a half. The laughter we shared, the lame jokes we shared (or more like I shared ;))....truly memorable. Thank you, guys and gals, for helping me with work, especially those who explained again and again the things I didn't understand (you know who you are). Thanks for the lunches we had together for 1 and a half years. I will always cherish the times we went to As You Like It just to eat the tom yam there. I'll really miss that tom yam. LOL. You guys and gals are just so great! And I wish you all the best in your life and in your future! Love ya loads!!

Signing out.

PROM!

2008-06-13T11:25:00.002+08:00

So much for watching movie the other night. It was too late. Oh well, the incredible hulk is out!!!And Edward Norton is acting in it!!! Ahhh, exciting! He's such a great actor. And he's so cute! >.<

Tonight's my college prom. And it's friday the 13th today! ....Spooky? Maybe we'll have the malaysian version of Prom Night. LOL. Nah, I don't believe in friday the 13th. Doesn't spook me out. Feeling a little excited and a little scared for tonight though. I've put on so much weight during the exams I feel fat when I'm wearing the dress. :( And I hope and pray that no one will ask me to dance....because I can't!!! LOL. I'm serious, if someone asks me to dance I'll freak and run to the toilet! LOL.

One thing's for sure, I'll definately take Kit Yan's advice : "Eat your money's worth." Haha. So true!

I'll be uploading pictures. Till then, bye!

It's over!

2008-06-10T18:13:00.002+08:00

HEY PEEPS!!!!!!!!! WOHOOO. Gosh! I haven't written anything in this blog for so long even Nick Chew is thinking this blog of mine is fake!! LOL. (*Fake IS the opposite of not real right? ;) *)

Hahaha.. Wow, it is great to start blogging again. Really sorry for abandoning this. I've been busy preparing for exams. And yup! It is over! Exam's over! And that's not all....A levels is over too!! I've officially finished my 1 and 1/2 year of A levels course. Awesome? Awesome! Haha.

I must say, this year has been a hectic year. And it's not even over yet! Since the beginning of this year I've been busting my ass studying and preparing for the A2 exams. And I have one advice to give ya'll. DON'T STUDY LAST MINUTE!!!! Lol. Seriously I've learnt a great lesson. Since my further maths exam is only during A2, I pushed it aside during AS. The consequences? I have to study further maths for 1/2 a year. LOL. Seriously! I didn't touch further maths. And this year when I read the book I felt so lost! But thank God, I've got tuition, which really helped alot.

It hasn't been an easy year but thank God because He guided me through every single step. Even when I've disappointed Him so many times, He never gave up on me. I seriously could not have gone through life without Him. I've known people who condemn God, and saying how ridiculous it is, to believe in Him. But honestly, can you imagine a life without God? Honestly, I can't. Everytime my faith fails, and I push myself away from God, I can't help but to get back to Him. And I once heard someone said that we believe in God because we are all insecure. Which is so true! Can you say that you've been through life without once being insecure? Haven't you thought, what will happen if this or that? What will happen to me if this does not work out? I am not ashamed to say, that I have had these thoughts in my mind. And I am grateful to say that I have God to cling on to. =)

Well, I've got to go now. Going to catch a movie! Maybe Indiana Jones or Prom Night. Ooo I saw the trailer for prom night it looks pretty cool! Haha. Spooky but cool! Haha alright I'll be back! BYE!

Back

2008-04-19T21:33:00.002+08:00

Whoa... amazing. The last post was during CNY. I haven't blogged for that long? LOL. Anyway, as Shen would put it, cobwebs are starting to grow in my blog. Hehe.

Sorry lor. This year has been a really hectic year... and it hasn't even ended! Now's april but I feel as though it's July. Remember in my previous posts I talked about how hectic A2 is going to be? Well, now reality is really setting in.

Tomorrow will be the end of my two weeks holiday. It was supposed to be the studying time but...didn't really work out the way I planned. A2 is just in another 3 weeks, maybe less. And honestly I still don't feel ready. Further Maths especially is my biggest concern. I need an A for Further Maths if I want to get into LSE but so far I can only manage a C. Really need to push this 3 weeks time.

Sigh, it has been such a bumpy ride. Broke down a few times. But God has been faithful. And He hasn't forsaken me, not once. Even when I turn my back on Him. And yea, really praise God for my trial results. It was better than I expected. Just hope I won't be too laid back then.

And Shen, it's not that I don't want to choi you. It's just I havent touched the computer for a long long time. A2 is really killing. Really miss you lar. See ya soon k?

Till then tatas

CNY

2008-02-06T15:18:00.001+08:00

This...is melissa's dog, Ashley. And this is how she's looking at me...as I am eating cookies. LOL. Staring at me with those puppy eyes expecting me to give her some. LOL. Sorry girl, I don't think I'm allowed to give you table scraps. But you're just so adorable!

I'm in ipoh now, in my grandparent's house. Staying here for the chinese new year. Going visiting tomorrow. Goody! Ang paus! =) hehe.

Sigh, I wish this week will never end. I don't want to go back to college! :(

I've got conditional offers from universities offering actuarial science but I'm not sure whether to take it or not. And that is if I can even meet their offers. The stress is on. To work hard. Honestly, I'm not sure if actuarial science is the course for me. I don't know what course is the one for me. I just want to do what God wants me to do. And honestly, I think I'm limiting His choices since I'm only applying for actuarial science and nothing else. LOL. But I really don't know what other course to apply for. Recently I've been hearing testimonies from my friends about how God guided them to the course they're doing now, and it's really encouraging to see God working in their lives, leading them to the right path. God, please guide me too. I don't know where's the right path. I really need to start praying for my future.

Matthew 6 :33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
I've been hearing this verse from 3 different people already. Once during camp. Another one from my friend, and the latest one from a pastor. I feel like this is some sort of advice or something. Because recently I've been worrying bout my A2 exam. Especially further maths. And I've been staying back in college to study in the library. I think I'm putting my studies before God. Sigh...this is going to be a tough year. But yea, as I said my friends have told me about how great God has been, and I'm sure one day I'll have similiar testimonies to tell others too. :P

Anyway, just want to wish you guys a happy chinese new year! Gong Xi Fa Cai! Get lots of ang paus! Save some for me! *Just kidding* God Bless people!

God is soooo good!

2008-01-21T13:24:00.001+08:00

I'm in college :P. Our teacher realised that we won't be able to concentrate even if he teaches so he let us go. Why can't we concentrate? :P. It's because we just got our results at approximately 11.50am. And truly truly praise God and thank God.

The AS exam was like a roller coaster physically and mentally. Especially when I felt I didn't do good in my physics practical, my chemistry practical, and my chemistry paper 2. And also the anxiety over the possibility that I'll have to retake the exams if I don't do so good. Putting my faith and trust in God was a real challenge for me. But it paid off. I was just praying yesterday, asking God to prepare my heart for the worst. I don't want to put my hopes too high, because I was afraid I would cry if my results didn't reach my high hopes. But at the same time, I really do hope and pray that I'll get good results, so that I won't need to retake the exam. And as I was praying, it struck me to give thanks to God, even before my results are out. And even as I was giving thanks and praising God for my results (which was not known yet), I truly felt peace and comfort and my heart was really prepared. My results will make an impact in my future. God has my future in His hands, and it is a beautiful future. Whatever my results may be God will give me what's best for my future. And truly, He has given me the best.

God, You've always guided me in life. From the day I was born till this very day. You've guided every academic results and even when I felt like I wasn't going to do good, You did the impossible. This time it's the same thing again. I felt like I didn't do good for AS exam, but this time I felt like I was really going to do really bad. But Father, You've guided me all my life, and I know You won't bring me down this time. And God, I really thank You and praise You, because once again You did something that I felt was the impossible. Truly God, with You NOTHING is impossible. Father, here are my results. I commit them to Your hands, and I just glorify Your name for it. This are not my results. It's Yours. Thank You Big Daddy. And I love You!

By the way, I got 3 A's and 1 B. B for Thinking Skills. Praise God!! =)

*Something funny I want to share. When I told my father I got B for thinking skills, he said, "Aiya, I know you cannot think wan." Hahaha!!!

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…” Mark 11:22-24

Prepare my heart oh Lord.

2008-01-18T23:38:00.001+08:00

Father, I put my trust in You. I put my faith in You. Father I believe that whatever happens, You know what's best for me. Father, please prepare my heart, please strengthen my heart. I don't want to put my hopes too high, but I do hope for the best. But Father, please prepare my heart, prepare me for the worst. Heavenly Father, help me not to be nervous, help me not to be anxious, but to just trust You. I just commit this into Your mighty hands. You know my life even before I was born. And I trust that whatever I get is Your will. Father You've guided me so far in life, in every exam and the results, and I know You won't forsake me or leave me in this. Whatever I get, Father I just want to thank You and praise You. Father, help me not to cry if they're bad, but strengthen me. Father, I give You all the glory and praise. Thank You Lord Jesus. And I'm sorry for the times when I disappointed You. In Jesus most precious name I pray, Amen.

I will not be afraid...for Thou art MY GOD!

My message

2008-01-18T21:36:00.001+08:00

First of all, I haven't been checking my blog since my last post on funny pictures. And today I realised that there were new comments on the post "Continuation of girls camp 2007 --- Homosexuality and the Ex-gay Lifetstyle"

The reason why I posted all the notes I got from Pastor Edmund's workshop is to share with others what I have learnt and also to hear other people's opinions, because I do believe that everyone has a right to let their voices be heard. But even as I read the new comments today, I really regret posting the post. The post has travelled as far as into Pastor Edmund's blog! (malu-fied)

I realised that this post has hurt certain people, and I am afraid would hurt Girls Christian Camp. But what is done is done, so I just want to say I'm sorry 1st of all to Pastor Edmund and Pastor Amanda for anything in this post which has offended you. I do hope you will forgive me. 2nd of all I want to say sorry to Yuki, if this post has caused you hurt. I will follow Pastor Amanda's advice and to pray for you, for I believe God has great things in store for you, just as He has in store for everyone else.

Lastly, I just want to wish Pastor Edmund and Pastor Amanda all the best in life and their ministry and truly pray that God will use them to the fullest for His glory. Also want to pray that God will continue to guide Yuki, to speak to her and to be ever so real in her life.

God bless.

Funny pics

2008-01-09T20:50:00.000+08:00

Am I really long winded? Cuz I'm starting to realise that most of my posts (the written one) are really long. LOL.

Anyway, for a little entertainment >.<. Here're some funny and cute pictures.

Want to go toilet? Sure. It's just THERE! Haha!

Do you speak-eh dee english??

Lost : Have you seen this cat? If you have please contact 03-********. Urgent! Very very precious cat! Please call us if you see her!

I just asked once! XD

Hahaha!

On the 1st day of college....

2008-01-09T20:30:00.001+08:00

It’s 11.14pm on Tuesday (8/1/2008). I can’t go online now because my brother is using the internet to watch Dragon Ball Z. Boys… LOL. So anyway, I just feel like blogging and writing down my thoughts even though I can’t post it now. Today’s the 1st day of college after a “LONG” holiday. (my brother has 3 months of holiday now that’s why he’s so free to watch Dragon Ball Z) It was pretty cool. I mean I saw my new timetable and it looked so awesome. There were times when I start at 9am and some times I finish at 1 or 2pm. But there is one day that I finish at 4pm, because of Chemistry lab.

Today, in class, I don’t know why but I suddenly felt so hyper. LOL. I was… yea, pretty noisy. Maybe it’s because I miss college? *shrugs*. Almost everyone came to college today with a new haircut. LOL. Some cut their hair short, some changed their hairstyle, it was pretty fun to see all different kinds of hairstyles. Mine was the worst. Don’t know why but today my hair was really frizzy. Maybe I didn’t put enough hair cream. XD

AS results are coming out on 20 something Jan!! :S. Was almost freaking out today. I mean I always felt like I could have done better in the exam and I always thought of the worst case senario : don’t get A for AS and no good university will take me. But every time I think of that I think of this : God has been so good to me. He has guided me in every aspect of life. He has taken care of my education, my future etc. What makes me think that He is going to pull me down this time? I know my God won’ leave me nor forsake me. I know that He has a bright future for me and I trust that He will continue to guide me whether in education or anything else, because He HAS always been guiding me anyway. So yea, I will not freak and put my faith in God :P.

Today I got a taste of what it was like to be in the same college as my cousin. Hehe yup. Melissa’s in taylors college …with me! Didn’t get to have lunch with her though because our lunch breaks were different. But she wasn’t alone so it’s cool. After college, my aunt fetched me and Melissa to Melissa’s house. I had to spend a few hours in my aunt’s house because my parents have gone to my father’s company dinner and my brother went out for dinner with his friends in mega mall.

Unfortunately, nobody asked me out to dinner tonight so I was supposed to be home alone. But my mom didn’t like the idea of me being home alone at night so she asked me to crash in my aunt’s house for a while. Hehe. Anyway, Miss Melissa was rushed to the ER a few minutes after we touched down at her house. Ok ok fine, it wasn’t that dramatic. But yea, Melissa came down with a terrible sore throat, high fever and a pounding headache so my aunt had to fetch her to the docs (nope sorry, not ER). And you know what? This wonderful cousin of mine brought a really small bottle of water to college, not even 500ml, because she said it’s heavy to bring water to college. =.=“ Hello??? Water ain’t fashion alright. LOL. Drink more water lar Melissa Foong! Put some sense into her. LOL. No wonder she fell ill.

Anyway, my parents came to fetch me at about 10.30 or something, and on the way home, I told my mom about my friend who got conditional offer from Cambridge. (I will not disclose her name here because…it’s private!! LOL) Congrats to that girl by the way, you know who you are ;). So yea I was telling my mom about the good news and also I found out that my aunt’s friend’s nephew (who also happens to be in taylors) also managed to get a conditional offer from Cambridge. Cool right? Congrats to you people yea!

And my mom was like saying, “why didn’t you apply for Cambridge.” And I said, “I know I’m not going to get any offer from Cambridge, why waste money to apply?” (It’s about 50 pounds I think) And she was saying, “you haven’t even try, how do you know you’re not going to get any offer?” And she started saying that I don’t want to fight for the best and I don’t want to try… things like that. But honestly, if you ask me, do I regret not applying for Cambridge (or Oxford)? I’ll say this : Definitely not. I don’t want to fight because I don’t want it in the first place. I wasn’t going to give my money to Cambridge or Oxford (no offence >.<). And I’m not very smart. Seriously I’m not. I’m pretty average and honestly, I’m happy to be that way. I mean I do feel happy for my friends who are really really smart, but I don’t envy them (or at least I don’t think I do). Because I’m happy for who I am. Average. And I couldn’t ask for more :) So there, all my thought written down. Or at least, typed. Haha. I’m going to go to bed now. Feeling pretty tired. Was sneezing a lot after sending Melissa to bed. Scared I’ll get her virus. LOL. So I’m drinking lots of water and eating oranges (vitamin C mah). Haha no offence, Melissa. Get well soon yea! And also to my other cousin, Richard. Get well soon, boy. I really miss the great times with ya. You know, when I was lonely in college (during the 1st few days last year) I just needed to call/sms Richard and he’ll keep me company. He is a really great person, and I’m happy and proud to be his cousin :P. So long, fair well, I wish to say goodnight……zzzzzz

2008!!

2008-01-03T14:09:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PPL!!!!! Sorry for the late wish. Celebrated 2008 in India. India....no words to describe it.

My trip in India was 50% good 50% terrible. The thing I love about India was the historical places. We went to loads of places like the Bangalore Palace, the Amer Fort, the Red Fort, the Qutub (something, forgot the name), and loads more. But the best among all was....the Taj Mahal. It was simply beautiful. The pictures are still in my dad's laptop. Will post it here when I've collected them. And oh yea, I also loved the hotels :P. But the thing I hated about India was the dust, the dirty and smelly toilets (wooh, beat Malaysia no time) and the driving (van and cab drivers). Terrible. Worse than terrible.

Where should I start? We landed in Bangalore, India at night. And my dad's friend was there to pick us up (He's got a flat in Bangalore which is where we were going to stay). Drivers in India are crazy. Seriously. On the way to the flat was like a live musical performance or something. Our cab driver was horn-ing every now and then, and so are the drivers around. Sometimes they just horn for no reason. And there are no proper lanes. The drivers just change lanes whenever they like. Scary! And U-turns...gosh, so super scary. Can't even describe it. And oh yea by the way, our cab driver in Bangalore...was a 18 year old guy.

But...it is quite sad in India. I mean, there are either super duper rich people in India, or super duper poor people in India. There are no mediocre people. And it's just sad especially when we were in the cabs or the vans, whenever we stop at the traffic lights, there'll be beggars knocking on our windows asking for money. Most of them...are young children. They either beg for money, sell things like newspapers, or do a performance for you. Once in Delhi, there was this girl, she knocked on our window and started dancing and doing tricks with her hands in the middle of the road. I mean, it was so dangerous. A motorcycle could have knocked her or something. And in historical places where we were sight seeing, there were beggars coming after you for money. Again, mostly small kids. It's just so sad. No kid should ever have this kind of childhood.

Then in Bangalore we went to this temple. Newly built. And it was huge, really really huge. And obviously costed alot of money. And it really got me thinking. The amount of money spent building that temple could have been used to help the poor. To keep those kids off the streets. To give them a better childhood. Of course, alot of people want their temple/mosque/churches to be really nice and beautiful and all. But, shouldn't God's people be put 1st before God's house? What do you think? Honestly I think the money should be used to help people, the poor and the sick, rather than to build a really big house of worship.

Anyway, India was a real eye opener for me. I mean it really got me thinking alot. Especially seeing those children. It wasn't a really good holiday, but it was a good experience, and a good eye opener.

Oh well, college's gonna start soon. 7th January. And honestly, I'm not ready to go back to college. It's gonna be a really hectic and stressful year. Trial's going to be around March and Finals is going to be around May. Gosh. I hope I won't push God aside and be so caught up with work. Sigh. I really need Him.

And oh yea, my AS results should be coming out soon. I'm just going to put my trust and faith in Him. Whatever happens, God, I'll still thank You and praise You!

I have learnt to question more, and to think more...

2007-12-20T12:45:00.001+08:00

Hey peeps, I just want to say that even as you read my post "Continuation of girls camp 2007---Homosexuality and the Ex-Gay Lifestyle", do read the comments that come with it. Because there are others whose voices you need to hear. And most importantly, I forgot to add in that everything I said in the post is definately not 100% correct. And honestly, I don't think there is a right or wrong in this topic. So yea, read the comments too because you might learn something more about this topic. I sure did. :)

Thanks to all who gave your comments!

India...here I come!

2007-12-19T19:31:00.001+08:00

Hey peeps, I'm going India! Only coming back in January. So my blog won't be updated yea. But anyway, do post in your comments and opinions about the post about gays...and also the one about the song "why can't a woman be more like a man".

Tata people, I'll tell you guys bout India when I come back! *Excited*

Continuation of girls camp 2007 --- Homosexuality and the Ex-gay Lifetstyle

2007-12-16T15:04:00.003+08:00

I wanted to separate the posts because I think my previous post is too long. So anyway...

I also joined the workshop “The Heart of Worship” by Pastor Ng Wah Lok and “What do you do when no one is watching” by Pastor Edmund Smith. The heart of worship workshop was really interesting. Pastor Ng Wah Lok taught about how to plan songs for worship. Pastor Edmund Smith’s topic was a little bit shocking at 1st. It was Homosexuality and the Ex-Gay Lifestyle. I really didn’t expect it. And actually I didn’t choose it. I chose The heart of worship. But Pastor Ng can only come on the 1st day, and Pastor Edmund can only come on the 2nd and 3rd day, so both workshops were joined. And I’ve learnt a lot from Pastor Edmund Smith about gays and he has really changed my perspective of gays.

If you've read my post entitled "What would YOU do?", I had this thinking that gays are born like that. I had this perspective that gays cannot be changed. But through the workshop, I've learnt that there are people who were gay and now they're not. For example, Pastor Edmund Smith himself was gay. He had 3 elder brothers. So when his mother was pregnant with him, his parents expected him to be a girl. But when he was born a boy, his parents rejected him, especially his father. He told us that his mother rejected him at 1st but then later accepted him. But for the 1st 5 years of his life, his mother treated him like a girl and later treated him like a boy. So he was very confused about his gender. He told us he hated being a guy. He wanted so badly to be a girl. And he lead a gay lifestyle for almost 11 years. He later stopped being gay because he said he suffered and was depressed during the 11 years he was leading the gay lifestyle. But of course he said it was not easy to change from being gay to straight. But he said soon after he left the gay lifestyle, he found Jesus. And his life changed from there. And oh yea, he's married by the way. Blessed with 2 kids. =)

He taught us a lot of terms and also shared with us the issues that could lead to a person being gay. First he taught us about 2 stances : the pro-gay and ex-gay stance.

Ex-gay stance = promotes ex-gay lifestyle and discourages gay lifestyle
Pro-gay stance = promotes and encourages gay lifestyle

Then he taught us some terms :

gay = (for male and female) others drawn to a person of the same sex in a way of romance and sex
lesbian = specifically for female homosexuals
Gay friendly = to be friendly to gays, but hold the ex-gay stance. Aka do not hurt or reject gays, but be friendly to them and at the same time do not encourage their gay lifestyle/do not encourage them being gay.
anti gay/homophobic = afraid of gays/hate gays. opposite of gay friendly
hermaphrodite = one who is born with both genitals.(not necessarily gay)(due to genetics)
Transgender= transfer of gender. one who has a Gender Identity Disorder. a female who wants to be a male and vice versa.
Transsexual = transgender who go for sex change operation
Transvestite = transfer of vest (clothes). a male who dresses like a female (or vice versa) mostly for fun/ performance.
Androgynous = one who appears in the middle. Eg, a person looks a little like a man but at a certain angle looks like a woman.(not due to genetics)
homophyllic = one who loves others of the same sex but has nothing to do with sex or romance.
Deep Platonic Relationship = relationship whereby a person loves another of the same sex deeply without involving sex or romance.
pedophile = adult who is drawn to children in a way of sex/romance.
metro sexual = a man who is in touch with his feminine side.(eg man who cook, do facial, do sewing, cry, etc) it is usually a term for men and it is perfectly normal.
fetrosexual = same as metro sexual but this term is used for girls (eg, girls who are strong, who love to play football/rugby etc etc
butch = a girl who wants to be a guy. they will bind their breasts, cut their hair short, act like a guy etc

The issues that could most probably lead to homosexuality :

SELF ISSUE

This issue is the rejection in the area of gender or appearance. Eg, a person who hates his/her own gender. In the area of appearance means that a person who hates the way he/she looks like. Eg, a person who feels that he/she is ugly or fat etc. Pastor Edmund was saying that don't ever hate yourself. Thank God for making you a girl/guy. Never say that you wish were the opposite gender. It really woke me up because there were times where I hated being a girl (it was not serious/severe). But yea, his words made me thank God everyday that I am a girl. I am who He made me to be.

And also Pastor Edmund said, don't complain you're ugly, but rather remember that you are beautiful in God's eyes, and that's all that matters. God made all of us beautiful, so don't ever say or complain that you're ugly. He also said don't complain about being fat. But instead, exercise, eat well and rest well. (A big bang to my head for that. LOL)

VACUUM ISSUE

This issue is basically about the absence of love of a parent/relative of the same gender. For example, Pastor Edmund did not have love from his father. His father was there physically but he didn't love Pastor Edmund. So Pastor Edmund was looking and wanting love from a person of the same gender.

Pastor Edmund said that many people always look for Mr/ Miss Right. And he was stressing that there is no such thing as Mr/ Miss Right, because no one is perfect. And he also said that no one completes us. He said for example, his wife does not complete him, but compliments him.

During one of the night sessions (not connected to this workshop), Pastor Eric Lau came to speak and he quote a saying from Pascal : "In the hearts of every men and women there is a God shaped vacuum that can only be filled by God the creator through Jesus Christ". This is so true.

BARRIER ISSUE

This issue is where a person is unable to be romantically involved with another of the opposite sex because the person has been abused verbally or sexually. For example, a girl may have been molested or raped. She will look at men as monsters and she won't be comfortable being romantically involved with a man. If this issue is not resolved (through counselling), she will stick to girls and this can lead to lesbianism.

*phew* So yea, he was telling us that gays are not born. God doesn't make gays. A person becomes gay mostly because he/she has not resolve either one, two, or all of these 3 issues. A person can also become gay because of influence from the world. He also taught about Deep Platonic Relationship. It is normal and possible, to love a person of the same sex deeply without involving romance/sexuality. So yea, don't get confused between admiration/ deep platonic relationship and love for the same sex in terms of romance.

He also taught us to be gay friendly but to stay strong to the ex-gay stance. We can be friendly to gays but it doesn't mean that we encourage that person being a gay/ leading a gay lifestyle. He also taught us not to reject gays or to mock gays.

Anyway, to learn more about Pastor Edmund's work (it's called the Real Love Ministry) , check out his website www.r-l-m.com
You can also check out this website www.exodus.to

I really found this workshop and the things Pastor Edmund taught very useful. I think now that gays and their lifestyle are beginning to be such a norm, these notes are very useful as awareness to the public. And also hope that a gay can be changed. Though it is not easy and it also depends on whether that person is willing or not. But yea, it is an interesting topic, and an important one too.

Hope you'll find this post useful. Do comment and give your opinions.

GIRLS CHRISTIAN CAMP 2007 -- AGAINST THE TIDE

2007-12-16T14:43:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps! Sorry haven’t been updating my blog for so long. I’ve been cut off from the world for a week! LOL. Ok, not really cut off. I’ve been in camp from Sunday (9/12/07) till Friday (14/12/07) in SMK St Mary, Selayang. LOL, I use the word “cut off from the world” mainly because, all handphones were kept by the camp advisor throughout the whole week. And also because I couldn’t go online. XD. But no regrets, because even without handphones and computers, the camp has been a blast and I truly enjoyed every moment of it.

I’ve learnt so much through this camp, and I want to share with everyone through this post. The morning sessions taught me a lot, the night sessions were interesting, and the workshop…was truly God’s will.

The morning sessions were taught by Ms Low Mei Ling. On the 1st day, she taught about what Paul said in Romans 12:1-2, about offering “your bodies as living sacrifice”. She asked us what we thought sacrifice means. And she said this, sacrifice means to surrender something to gain something more desirable. Meaning that sacrifice is not just about letting go of something, but also getting something better in return.

She was also talking about life without rules. I remember there were certain people who said they didn’t want God in their lives because they didn’t want to be “controlled“. Then Aunty Mei Ling told us this story.

There was a football match in a primary school. Parents were there to support their children, all of them mothers except one man. The referee was late and so they asked the man to be the referee for the meantime. Unfortunately, the man didn’t know anything about football, the rules and so on. So, after much persuasion, the man finally agreed to be the referee, temporarily. Every time there was a foul, the man said, “play on”. No rules were applied and soon, the children were fighting and there was chaos on the football field. Thankfully, the referee reached and took over the game. This time, with certain rules, the game went on without fighting or chaos and the children enjoyed the football game.

What she wanted to say was, without rules, without boundaries, life can be chaotic and not fun. Whereas with rules and boundaries, the football game which represents life, can be fun and enjoyable. So basically, rules or God are not there to be over-controlling, and rules are not there to make life boring, but to avoid chaos and violence.

She also stressed the importance of having a close relationship with God. Basically it’s so that we can know who God really is, to know His intentions/purpose for us, and to realise our full potential which will help us succeed. *phew*. She talked about lots of stuffs and I can’t really share all of it because… I still have lots of things to share!!

Yea, during the night sessions, there was a video called hope of something (forgot already. Oops) Anyway, Wong Kim Kong, a polio victim told about his story, his struggle through life due to his disability and how he managed to overcome it with God’s help. It was really encouraging. The second night, there was a video about a woman from China who loved to dance. Then, she got into an accident and lost her left arm. She was devastated and she quit dancing. But later, persuasion from her friends made her realise that she still loved dancing and she decided to continue dancing. She practiced a lot and later found a man who lost one of his legs. And then…

*Sorry I abit cacat. LOL. I don't know how to upload vidoes from youtube over here. Anyway, press this to watch the video*

It was so inspiring, I almost cried. I hope this video will be an encouragement to you guys, that don’t let any obstacle stop you from doing the things you love the most.

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

2007-12-07T21:26:00.006+08:00

HIGGINS
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair;
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Well, why can't a woman be like that?
Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then there's one with slight defects;
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after like a man?
Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
PICKERING
Of course not!
HIGGINS
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
PICKERING
Nonsense.
HIGGINS
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
PICKERING
Never.
HIGGINS
Well, why can't a woman be like us?
[To Mrs. Pearce]
Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman...
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?

A small part of a song from "My Fair Lady" which really got my thinking. Not that I'm sexist or anything. But yea, allow me...

Why can't a woman be more like a man? Well, this is why. Woman are sensitive, delicate and complex. Woman bicker about every petite thing because woman care. Woman's mind and heart is so hard for man to understand because of one thing woman has that a man doesn't have. Feelings. And not just any typical feelings. Feeling so deep that man would not be able to grasp. Why is thinking something woman never do? Why is logic never even tried? Because woman use don't only rely on logic and brains, but they take into account something more important...the heart. Why can't a woman be more like a man? Because this is the way that we are created. Sensitive, delicate, complex, maybe fussy we may be. But God loves us just as much to spend time creating every single one of us differently.

I wanted to point out a few bad stuffs bout man, because lately I've been a little bit emo and a little bit pissed at stuffs. But, don't want to cause an uproar so I'll just stop here.

But, yea. God created man and woman. Not man alone. Not woman alone.

Genesis 2:18-22 >>> The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." .....Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

So yea. God created us, man and woman, equal. One is not more significant than the other. And most importantly, God loves is all abundantly and equally. Man or woman. Rich or poor. Pretty or ugly. Fat or thin. God loves us all.

Woman should have the same respect as man. And man should accept woman's flaws, woman's delicate heart, and even woman's fussiness :)

ps: Opinions and comments are open to all. Do share your point of view.

Did I mention? God is SO awesome!

2007-12-07T20:54:00.000+08:00

I have faith...that I will pass my driving test. And guess what? I PASSED!!! WOOOHOOO!!!! Yea, really praise God, man. I couldn't have done it without Him. And He was there with me all the way.

Couldn't sleep well last night. Tossed and turned all night. Kept thinking what if I fail again. Prayed all the way from the driving school to the test centre. XD. Thank God I passed! You know, I was the 1st one to drive on the road. I mean, everyone just registered, and I was walking towards the waiting place. I just sat down, trying to calm myself down, and here comes a man examiner calling me. LOL. Got a shock. Wasn't ready at all. Haha. But yea, God was with me all the while. When I was driving, there were some parts where I thought I was going to fail. But PRAISE GOD! I passed! He is truly awesome!

Thank You so much Lord. I needed Your help and You helped me. Thank You!

ps...told you male examiner's not as strict as female examiner. (the 1st time a female examiner failed me)

Driving... Ahhhhhh!!!!

2007-12-06T11:39:00.000+08:00

Ok...know why I'm freaking out? Cuz my driving test is tomorrow! Yea. I took it once...and failed it. Sigh. Now I'm back to retake, but only the road part because I passed the parking, 3point turn and hill.

After a few months of not driving (about 5 months to be exact), I only took 6 hours of driving lesson. 6 hours! LOL. The first time I had my driving lesson (I mean after 5 months), I sat in the kancil, moved to first gear, lift up the clutch (too fast I think), and the car's engine died. Yup, that was like 4 days ago. And, oh yea... I crashed into a divider. >.<

Today I had my last 3 hours of driving lesson, using a proton saga. Kancil rosak. LOL. Yea, today's lesson was ok. At least my engine didn't die and I didn't crash into a divider. LOL. But it's proton saga. I think if I used the kancil my engine might've died. Oh well, tomorrow is the day and honestly....I'm VERY scared. I don't want to fail again. At the same time I don't want to bribe. It's so tempting to bribe especially when you know they might purposely fail you. But I've made up my mind and am standing firm to what I know is right. I'M NOT GOING TO BRIBE!! *bluek*

God, please help me. I can't do this on my own. I need Your help. Please help me pass. Please...

I trust in God and I know He won't leave me nor forsake me. I have faith in Him. I have faith...that I will pass.

Finally!

2007-11-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

Finally! After 1 month + 10 days with only 10 papers...AS exam is over. It was honestly a rough roller coaster ride, physically and mentally. But I truly thank God because He was there for me every step of the way, and I've learned more and more about Him through this tough time. He is really awesome, and I could not have gone through this exam without Him. And He was there with me all the way. Praise God!

It was really crazy. 1 month and 10 days! It's longer than SPM and has less papers than SPM. Haha. It was like, no mood to study but at the same time felt guilty after watching tv (aka "rest"). Haha. Now I can watch tv without feeling guilty! I'm chasing after chinese shows now with my mom. XD

Sadly, I have to go back to college for classes right after my last paper...for another 2 weeks!! Wahhhhh. And the teachers are teaching A2, and honestly, I can't really remember A2 stuffs. Haha. I've been burying myself in AS the past more than one month till I can't really remember A2 stuffs. Freaked out a lil' XD. And by the way, the teachers are scaring us a little...ok, wait...alot! Haha. Because next year we won't have enough time to study all of A2 stuffs so we have to get it starting...now. Sigh, just finished 1 exam have to start studying for the other already.

Anyway, I'm at my aunt's house now =). Going to be spending the weekend at her house. Her neighbour invited her for a wedding dinner, and since she doesn't have any teman, she asked me to teman her =). Exciting! Haha.

PS: Going to take my driving test in dec *Screams*

God DOES care…even for the smallest things

2007-11-10T17:51:00.000+08:00

God is so amazing. I couldn’t find my watch, and the last time I remember seeing it was about 2 weeks ago. And I was starting to get anxious, because this watch is really precious, a Christmas gift from my dad and it costs quite a lot. And since I’ve been taking my watch to college for exams, I was starting to think maybe I left it on the desk or it fell.

Anyway, I still searched for it at home, hoping the watch was still in my house. After a few days, the chances that I lost my watch in college felt pretty high. But I kept on praying to God, asking Him to help me find my watch. I was practically searching the whole house! LOL. I was getting desperate, and I prayed for a sign from God, to tell me if the watch is in the house. Haha na, I didn’t get any sign. I got something better :P

Lo and behold…I found…my watch!! It was in an unexpected place, hidden within a pile of books, and I didn’t see it the 1st time I searched that place. Coincidence? I don't think so. I've gone through too many of them for them to be called 'coincidences'. God IS awesome. And He does care…even for the smallest things. =)

“Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…”
Mark 11:22-24

Stardust

2007-11-07T21:20:00.000+08:00

I just came back from watching Stardust in KLCC and I have to just say...this movie is amazing. Seriously, a must watch. Filled with fantasy, adventure and humour, this movie is indeed one of the greatest this year (after Transformers). Casting Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Sienna Miller, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro and lots more. By the way, Robert De Niro always comes to me as a serious kind of person but in this movie, he is hillarious! Seriously, you'll laugh your head off!

Ya know, I almost missed this movie. I reached the cinema at about 5.15 pm and the 6pm show was full according to the screen. And I thought, great, I can't watch Stardust. So I was discussing with my dad about what other movies we can watch. And suddenly at 5.40pm, the "full" sign was gone. And then it hit me. They're releasing the reserved tickets! There was another problem though. The seats available could be right in the front. But Thank God indeed because not only did we manage to get the tickets, we got great seats! 3rd row from the back. And with the humour in the movie, the whole cinema was roaring with laughter. XD

A must watch! Seriously! Go to your nearest cinema immediately and watch this movie! LOL!

A mustard seed

2007-11-03T17:53:00.000+08:00

A mustard seed is so small...

But with God's "watering", it can grow into...

a huge mustard tree

There was once during camp the speaker was talking about mustard seeds, and later during quiet time our group leader asked how many of us sometimes feel like mustard seeds. All of us raised our hands. And as I think about it, I found out the real reason why sometimes I do feel so small...like a mustard seed.

Sometimes when I'm filled with burdens, work, responsibilities, I'll say, "I'm so small. I'm not strong enough to carry these burdens." But then I finally realised that with God's strength, with His "water" and "fertilizer", I can grow...into a mustard tree. And truly all things are possible with God.

Some of you may feel the way I do. Or some of you may feel like a mustard seed because you feel small and worthless. But I tell you, every single person on this earth is God's child, and every single one of us are worth so much to Him. 1 John 3:1 "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! ..."

That is what we are...children of God. So very precious to Him.

So the next time you feel like a mustard seed, look to God...and think of the mustard tree.

I just suck in practical exams

2007-10-18T18:15:00.000+08:00

I just finished my physics practical. It was bad. It wasn't tough but I practically screwed it up. Didn't have enough time and ended up doing my graph and calculation in a hurry, and alot of them are wrong. Sigh. Well, let me tell you what happened during the exam.

I was still calculating and filling up my table. I had about 10 more minutes to draw my graph and do some more calculations. I was practically freaking out. And somehow I couldn't find a suitable scale for the graph. I was praying, God, please help me. And I was panic-ing like mad. So in the end I didn't care and just put my reading into the graph without caring about the scale. I thought it was all wrong...the scale. But later when I was calculating the gradient I realised, that my scale is right. It's just awesome la. It's like, I couldn't find a proper scale and when I simply put on some stupid scale, it turned out right. Well, partly.

I was still panic-ing. And I realised that some of my calculations on the table was not right. At the same time I realised one point on my graph was not the right scale. So yea, basically it didn't work out lar. I screwed up the table, the graph, the gradient, etc etc. For a moment I was like, praising God for giving me the correct scale for the graph. But then, I realised that it's not correct. Maybe if I had kept my calm and calculated properly I might be able to get the correct scale and at the same time get marks for my table. But yea, I was pretty devastated when I found out I screwed up both my table and my graph.

I was pretty much in a wreck. I couldn't hold back my tears and started leaking. And I couldn't stop. I just couldn't believe that I screwed up such an easy paper. And I was basically blaming myself for being slow, for taking up too much time. For not keeping calm. I was just feeling so bad and I thought to myself," I think I'm going to have to retake next year."

I couldn't stop crying. I was feeling so sad. I felt like jumping off the building or something. But later, I pulled myself together and prayed, "God, I leave this paper into Your hands. I trust in You. Whatever happens I just want to thank You." And truly after that, I felt at peace. I stopped crying. It's just really great to feel that you know Someone is taking care of your worries, taking care of my paper.

And you know what, I can say this now. So what if I screwed up my paper? What's done is done and whatever I do cannot reverse whatever I have done. And I know this for sure : My God is and has taken care of my paper. And I'm not afraid anymore. Even if I get really low marks for my practical paper, I won't curse God. I won't be angry with Him. I just trust Him completely.

Have you heard the story about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold and forced everyone in Babylon to worship this gold. If anyone does not worship this image of gold, they'll be thrown into a blazing furnace. So everyone fell down and worshipped this image of gold, but Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not. And when the king threatened to throw them into the furnace, this is what they said :

"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3: 16-18)

And guess what, they were thrown into the furnace. But God saved them and they came out of the furnace unhurt. And King Nebuchadnezzar was awed at God's work.

So yea, it's not called blind faith, it's called PURE faith in God.
Sometimes, it IS hard, to put your faith in Him, to say, "God I want this to happen but even if I don't get it I will still believe in You and have faith in You." But, honestly, why not take the risk of putting your faith in God? Just like what Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego did. They even considered the possibility that God will not save them from the furnace, but they still stayed true to Him. And look, they were saved!

It's hard to put your worries into God's hands, to trust Him 100%. But, after I commited my paper into God's hands, I truly felt at peace. Philippians 4:6-7 => Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Try taking that step of saying, "God I commit this problem/worry into Your hands." Truly the peace of God which surpasses all understanding WILL guard your hearts and minds.

I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know how bad this paper will influence my total marks. But I can say this, that whatever happens, God, I THANK YOU!

What is PASSION?

2007-10-16T03:03:00.000+08:00

What is passion? Love for something? Is that all?

Well, I once loved something. And I still love it actually. By the age of 3 I was certain I was going to “marry” this “something”. I was so certain this “something” was my future. Something I want to do for a living. Something I loved. My passion.

For about 13 years my life revolved around this thing. It was not only a part of my life; it was a part of my family’s life. Especially my mom and dad.

Passion? I always thought I had passion for this thing. Why? Just because I love it? Well, love alone is not enough to explain what passion really means.

Want to know what passion really means? Let me tell you what I think. I think passion is something that you feel so strongly about, no words could explain this feeling you have for it. Passion is something so strong that nothing can ever take it away from you. Passion for something means you are ready to FIGHT for it. No matter how many obstacles come in your way, you are willing to go through them all, never giving up to reach for your passion.

Passion …is not what I have for this “thing”. Because I was not willing to fight for it. I was not willing to go through the tough times, the pressure, the stress, the discouragement…

Yes, I love this thing. No, I do not have the passion for it.

Many people were shocked when they found out I let it go. Some thought I was crazy. Do I regret letting it go? Honestly, I don’t know. Sometimes I felt I should have fought for it. Sometimes I felt I made the right choice, that this thing is not something meant for me.

Some said that it was a waste for me to let it go. Do I think so? Honestly, no. I did not totally shut this thing out of my life. It’s just that it’s a smaller part of my life now than it was before. I don’t feel like it‘s a waste for me to let it go, but I know a lot of people feel that it is. Including my parents. And I feel pretty guilty. Because this thing was a part of their life too. I’ve really let them down. And I’m sorry, I really am.

Do you have a passion for something? It may be a career; like being a doctor. Or it may be something you love to do. Like dancing, singing, drawing, or painting. Take some time to think about it. Is it really your passion? If you made up your mind that it is, here’s my advice.

Don’t let it go. Hold on to it. Fight for it. No matter what you go through. Don’t be afraid to show people your passion. Your everything. Don’t make the same mistake I did. If it is not your passion, don’t waste so much time on it. Don’t waste other people’s time on it.

Otherwise, hold on and fight for your passion.

This is when it all comes to an end...

2007-09-18T19:51:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, ok. Maybe my title DOES sound abit dramatic. But anyway, I went to Ipoh on Sunday and then to Penang on Monday and on Tuesday, went back to Ipoh and then KL. *Phew*. Been travelling alot. And I think starting from tomorrow onwards I'm going to lock myself in my room to study. I've wasted more than 1 week of the holidays and I have to start studying. Finals is next month! *gasp*

Oh well, I just bought the DVD of High school musical 2! *Childish, I know* But somehow I don't know why I really like High school Musical. XD. Will update my blog later. Tatas!

What would YOU do?

2007-09-09T15:56:00.000+08:00

I was reading "Dear Thelma" in the star newspaper and I came across this article where this guy was pressured by his mother and his aunt to get married and have kids. But there was one problem. He's gay. Yup. And he doesn't have the heart to tell his loved ones that he's gay. But at the same time, he feels pressured by his mom's desire for him to get married, and he wants to tell her the truth.

As I read through his dillema I could practically imagine how devastated his mother would be if she found out that he's gay. And I was wondering how my parents would react if I'm gay..or even my brother. So I decided to ask them.

1st I asked my mom, and after she heard the question she laughed. And then she stopped for a while and said, "Are you gay?"

LOL! I was laughing like mad. *Just to keep the record straight. I'm NOT gay!* LOL. So yeah, my mom said, she wouldn't know what to do. Then I asked my dad and he did the same are-you-gay reaction like my mom did. And when I asked him if he'll still accept me, he said yes.

I guess it's kind of hard. I don't think these people chose to be gay. And their parents will always wonder what they did wrong in raising up their children. Honestly, if it happened to my child I wouldn't know what to do.

What would YOU do? Would you try to change him/her or would you accept for who they are?

Freedom!!

2007-09-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

*blow*..hmm, a lil' dusty. *Looks around*. Shen! I don't see any cobwebs here. Just a lil' bit of dust thats all. See? All clean now. XD

Sorry lar..I've been having trials. Today's the last day! Yay!! Freedom!! Now my to-do-list :

party
party
party
shopping
shopping
watch movies
shopping
watch more movies
shopping
shopping
chat
chat
chat
chat
watch movies
shopping
makan ;)

Haha, yea. Pretty much the same thing. Oh well, I've got 2 weeks holiday now. After that Finals *gasp*!

One week party one week study. LOL. Just kidding lar. I don't go party. No one host one for me. Or maybe no one invites me *gasp!*

Haha nah, I'm not that desperate to go parties. Anyway, other stuffs in my to-do-list include >>>> driving test. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Man, all my friends passed their driving test and now most of them are driving around already. And what about me? I failed! And now I've got to retake. Blah, I hate the driving test. I dread it. I don't even want to drive. Get me a driver to drive me around lar. LOL.

*Sigh* I've got to get over with it anyway. I just really hope I'll pass this time. I'M NOT GONNA BRIBE. At all! Not gonna give those people the satisfaction of getting my money!! LOL.

Anyways, guess what? I'VE GOT A LAPTOP! Weeeeeeeeeee!! It's Dell. 14 inch. I think. I'm using it now! Pretty cool. I'm gonna get a router in my house so I'll have wireless internet. XD. No more fighting with my bro over the internet then. Haha.

Oh well. Will update more later. Tataz!

"Trash"

2007-08-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

I was reading Next Door Savior by Max Lucado. He's a great writer. Just want to quote a story from the book here:

(pg 44) The woman flops down on the bench and drops a trash bag between her feet. With elbows on knees and cheeks in hands, she stars at the sidewalk. Everything aches. Back. Leg. Neck. Her shoulder is stiff and her hands raw. All because of the sack.
.............
Her memories of life without the trash are fuzzy. As a child maybe? Her back was straighter, her walk quicker...or was it a dream? She doesn't know for sure.
............
She never looks at her trash. Early on she did. But what she saw repulsed her, so she's kept the sack closed ever since. What else can she do? Give it to someone? All have their own.
.............
Here comes an old man, face ravined with wrinkles. His trash sack is so long it hits the back of his legs as he walks. He glances at the woman and tries to smile.

What weight would he be carrying?she wonders as he passes. "Regrets." She turns to see who spoke. Beside her on the bench sits a man. Tall, with angular cheeks and bright, kind eyes. Like hers, his jeans are mud-stained. Unlike hers, his shoulders are straight. He wears a T-shirt and baseball cap. She looks around for his trash but doesn't see it. Strange. Everyone else is loaded down with trash. Why isn't he? What's his secret?

Forgetting her own troubles for a moment, the woman stares at the stranger beside her on the bench. "What do you mean, 'regrets'?" she asks him. He watches the old man trudge away with his bag as he explains, "As a young father, he worked many hours and neglected his family. His children don't love him. His sack is full-full of regrets."

She doesn't respond. And when she doesn't, he does. "And yours?"

"Mine?"she asks, looking at him...and carefully not looking at the bulging sack between her feet.

"Shame." His voice is gentle, compassionate. She still doesn't speak, but neither does she turn away. "Too many hours in the wrong places, with the wrong people. Last year. Last night...shame."

She stiffens, steeling herself against the scorn she has learned to expect. As if she needed more shame. Stop him. But now? She awaits his judgment. But it never comes. His voice is warm and his question honest : "Will you give me your trash?"

Her head draws back. What can he mean? "Give it to me. Tomorrow. At the landfill. Will you bring it?" He rubs a moist smudge from her cheek with his thumb and stands. "Friday. The landfill."
.............

It is Friday. For a time she stands, thinking. First wondering what he meant, then if he really meant it. She sighs. With hope just barely outweighing hopelessness, she turns toward the edge of town. Others are walking in the same direction.

..............

The landfill is tall with trash-papers and broken brooms and old beds and rusty cars. By the time they reach the hill, the line to the top is long. Hundreds walk ahead of them. All wait in silence, stunned by what they hear-a scream, a pain-pierced roar that hangs in the air for moments, interrupted only by a groan. Then the scream again.

His.

As they draw nearer, they know why. He kneels before each person who comes, gesturing toward the sack, offering a request, then a prayer. "May I have it? And may you never feel it again." Then he bows his head and lifts the sack, emptying its contents upon himself. The selfishness of the glutton, the bitterness of the angry, the possessiveness of the insecure. He feels what they felt. It is as if he'd lied or cheated or cursed his Maker.

Upon her turn, the woman pauses. Hesitates. His eyes compel her to step forward. He reaches for her trash and takes it from her. "You can't live with this," he explains. "You weren't made to." With head down, he empties her shame upon his shoulders. Then looking toward the heavens with tear-flooded eyes, he screams, "I'm sorry!"

"But you did nothing!" she cries. Still, he sobs as she sobbed into her pillow a hundred nights. That's when she realizes that his cry is hers. Her shame his. With her thumb she touches his cheek, and for the first step in a long nighttime, she has no trash to carry.

With the others the woman stands at the base of the hill and watches as the selfless stranger is burried under a mound of misery. For some time he moans. Then nothing. Just silence.
..................
They almost miss the moment. It is the young girl who sees it. The girl with the rage. She doesn't trust her eyes at first, but when looks again, she knows.

Her words are soft, intended for no one. "He's standing." Then aloud, for her friend, "He's standing." And louder for all, "He's standing!"
She turns;all turn. They see him silhouetted against a golden sun. Standing. Indeed.

This story brought me goosebumps. It just reflects Jesus and all He has done for us. At the cross, Jesus paid the price for our sins. He took on the sins of the world on His shoulder and died. But the most wonderful thing that could happen was when that in the end, He was "standing." Jesus died but He also rose from the dead. And that's just really awesome.

The best part was this : As if she needed more shame. Stop him. But now? She awaits his judgement. But it never comes. God knows every sin we've commited, every bad thing we did, every weakness in us. But the best part is. He doesn't judge us. He accepts us for who we are and for what we have done.

And this "trash" doesn't necessary mean sin. It could simply be something that keeps us away from God or our loved ones or a burden that slows us down. Like a sinful habit we don't want to give up, or a fantasy we cling on to, or a revenge we still hold on to.

Basically, God is asking for your "trash". He wants it. He wants to get rid of it, to set us free from burdens. But in the end, it's just up to us. Are we willing to give Him our "trash"? Take out your "trash" today, and let's count on Him to get rid of it.

*Oh and btw, all the ".............. " means that there're more sentences. Had to cut the story short or else no one will read this post. *

My Birthday 2007

2007-07-28T15:59:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps! It's time I blog about my birthday =) 1st, celebrated my birthday with my family, cousins, aunt and my 2 lovely nieces (Sherilyn and Alycia) on 14/7 (Saturday). Nothing special, just went out for dinner, bought a cake and celebrated in my aunt's apartment. Really made the two little girls happy(especially Sherilyn).

Here we are buying the cake from Secret Recipe. Look at Sherilyn. She looks so excited.

There's my cake. Chocolate. Yum =)

There's me and my cake. Peace!

"We are family..." There's my cousin with his wife and his 2 lovely babies, my mom, dad, aunt and cousin from Taiwan. One person missing though. My brother. I think he had something to do at home or something. Can't remember >.<

Sherilyn was so excited to cut the cake that we decided to cut it...together. Look how excited she is.

After all the excitement, here's Sherilyn eating the cake. She really enjoyed it. When she was eating, we talked to her and all she said was ,"Mmm...Mmm..." Haha. Too busy eating till she didn't even bother answering us. Haha. Cute lar she.

As my birthday was on a week day (Wednesday), I was torn between going to watch transformers (which I watched yesterday btw. It was so cool!), having a nice dinner in a nice restaurant and going to MPO. In the end, I decided to go to Hilton Hotel next to KL Central to eat Japanese food. The food was soo good.

Bon Apetite! Here I am with my food =) I know it's alot. But hey, it's my birthday! Let me enjoy my food and grow fat for just one day! Haha. Let me introduce to you, Una Jyu (aka eel with rice), California roll and Ebi Tempura (aka prawn tempura). The Ebi Tempura was sooooo good. Seriously. Recommended. And I expected the eel to be really small, but there were like 4 long strips of eel.

There's the eel with the rice. Was eating half of the 1st eel when I realised I forgotten to take a picture of the Una Jyu. Oops. XD

My aunt and me.

Tada! The birthday cake. Also from Secret Recipe. Haha, I was sitting talking to my family when suddenly I heard this group of people singing "Happy Birthday". And the 1st thought that came to my mind was, "Ooo, someone here is also celebrating his/her birthday." Actually, it was the waiters and waitresses singing Happy Birthday to me as they brought the cake. Haha. Shocked me for a while.

There. Nothing better than celebrating my birthday with my family =) Really had fun and enjoyed my dinner. I think I practically put on 5kg the next day (LOL, just kidding). But oh well, it was worth it ;) Thanks mom and dad!

Wang Lee Hom's newest album =)

2007-07-25T18:40:00.000+08:00

I got it! I got it! I can't believe it! LOL. I was in college today and sitting next to me was Wei Tse and Su Lyn. And they were being very secretive since this morning ;) As we were getting ready to go for our break, Wei Tse suddenly took out a T-shirt and a black plastic bag and both Wei Tse and Su Lyn said, "Happy belated birthday!"

I was touched, cuz I didn't expect anything from them. And at 1st I was kinda blur. Ok...fine. I was very blur. I was sort of staring at the black plastic bag and suddenly I realised the front said Victoria Music Centre. And I was wondering, music centre? Putting my hand into the plastic bag, I slowly pulled out a CD and saw this :

WANG LEE HOM'S NEWEST CD ALBUM!!

You should've seen me...and the faces of the people around me. LOL. The moment I saw Wang Lee Hom's CD I practically screamed and my other classmates started staring at me. Haha.

THANKS SO MUCH WEI TSE AND SU LYN!!!! I LOVE IT!!!

And the T-shirt, came together with the CD. And guess wat's behind the T-shirt...

Yup..you've guessed it. It was Wang Lee Hom. Gosh he's cute =)

Other pics from the album :

*Heart melts* He's just so cool! He plays er-hu, violin, piano and the electric guitar. Don't know what else he plays. Plus, he's so cute!! XD

Was browsing through the Christchurch photos in my folder and I saw this.

Totally forgotten bout it =) . Took this outside Richard's church in NZ. Mama Jo. Cool rite? Haha when I was taking this picture, the owner of the car came and she was like, "Yup, that's me."

It's one week after my birthday and Richard's asking me how come I didn't blog about my birthday. Haha I'll blog about it soon because now the pictures are in my dad's laptop. So kind of lazy to get them.

Take care guys. I'll be staring at Wang Lee Hom's picture while listening to his new songs XD Bye!

Taylors College Musical Night 2007 & The power of prayer

2007-07-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

Quote from my previous post dated 19th July : "Will blog more about it tomorrow." Now is 22nd of July. LOL my "tomorrow" = 3 days.

Sorry yea. Was busy preparing for Taylors College Musical Night 2007 which was last night. And also busy doing my moral project = "The Ten Gurus of Sikhism" :P I'm a last minuter. Haha.

So yea, last night was musical night and it was pretty fun. The string esemble did a great job (*Wohoo!!*). After that pretty much enjoyed the rest of the night with friends XD It was so much fun. There was alot of performances. Seriously ALOT. There was performances by the string esemble, by a rock band called The Dawn, a jazz band called The Awakening Emotion (the guy playing the saxophone was so good and he only started playing 2 years ago)...

*Takes deep breath*

There was hip hop dancing, solo singing (A girl sang Hero by Mariah Carey. She was awesome. I wish I could sing like her.LOL), a musical called "The Petaling Street Love Story" and so much more. *phew*. There was also a special guest performance by Chan Kwok Fai who was the Astro Talent Quest Winner 2005. He was pretty good. Didn't get to buy his album though :(

And there was this dance performance by a few children from the Rumah Charis. Rumah Charis is a welfare home which provides care for orphans and unprivileged children. The profits from this event will go to them. The kids were dancing to the song

Every move I make I make in You, You make me move, Jesus
Every breath I take I breathe in You...

They were sooooooooooooo cute!!!!

Anyways, was supposed to end at 9.30pm. Ended up finishing at almost 12am. But I didn't stay till that late. Went back at about 11 something and missed the musical "The Petaling Street Love Story". *Sigh* I heard it was really good. Oh well, tomorrow I'll go and hunt for people who recorded it :P

Anyways, on Friday the speaker for CF was Pastor Josephine from... (LOL can't remember where). Haha sorry lar I know I have very bad memory. Anyways, she was speaking about prayer and how important it is. And she told us a story where children were called to come on stage and pray for anything they felt God wanted them to pray about. And some of the children (aged from 7 - 11 years old) started praying for Iraq, for Terengganu, for India and etc. I was really amazed...and awed. I mean, these children are so young and they're already praying for countries like Iraq and India. Wow. Was really challenged to pray not only for my own needs but for the needs of the nation, of the country, of Malaysia.

She also told us another incident about a time when she felt pain in her right ear and she had this feeling that her friend sitting next to her was having this problem. And it was true, her friend was having a pain in his right ear. So pastor Josephine wanted to pray for him and with him but he didn't want to. She prayed for him anyway, just not with him but in her heart. And the next day her friend was amazed that the pain had gone from his right ear and he started asking her about God and the bible. And so he accepted Christ and he started spreading the gospel to his friends too. And it was like, wow. The power of prayer, you know.

Sometimes, I feel we don't have to force the bible into a person. I mean, yea, we have a duty to spread the good news, to tell people about Jesus and all, but sometimes, if we try too hard, we'll end up scaring them away. I guess the most important thing is God's timing. God has His plans for every single one of us. And sooner or later God will bring that person to Him. And when the time comes, He will use His people to touch that person's heart/life. A friend told me that once a group of Christians practically surrounded her and asked her if she wanted to accept Christ. She freaked out. We don't have to put a chain around that lost sheep and pull the sheep back to the herd. Let the Shepherd gently lead the lost sheep back to the herd.

Of course, if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me. After all, I'm not perfect and I'm still learning more and more about God =)

Till then, bye!

I'm old!! >.<

2007-07-19T17:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my birthday XD! Hehe, I'm old! Haha was supposed to blog about it yesterday but was too tired especially after that wonderful dinner ;) Will blog more about it tomorrow. Till then, God bless ya'll!

Transformers?

2007-07-10T21:28:00.000+08:00

I was going to watch transformers on saturday night but didn't manage to in the end. Instead, went out for dinner with aunts, parents and cousins. *sigh*. I really want to watch transformers. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait and buy the DVD ;)

I'm still not in the mood to study. All my friends are starting to make use of the library and I'm not. At least not yet ;) My mind is still in Christchurch. LOL. Had a blast there with my cousins. And even with my aunts. You might think aunts = mom X 3 but honestly, I had fun with them there. Lying in bed, talking and laughing with them before dozing off to sleep. *sigh*

Miss all the singing and rapping (LOL kit and the song shut up by black eyed peas. It was hillarious.) with my cousins. Miss eating hot pot with Richard and his friends. Also miss cooking hot pot for Richard LOL. And last but not least, I miss the fish and chips in NZ. They are soooo good! Haha.

Oh well, gotta snap out of it already. Trials are coming up *gasp*. Have to start drilling myself already.

I know I'm supposed to share something but...LOL I can't really remember. Haha!

......

2007-07-07T15:54:00.000+08:00

Wanted to share something but somehow I can't put it in words. Guess I've got to get things straight first.

Anyway, going to watch transformers soon. Alot of people said it was good. And according to Pam, it's a sin if you haven't seen it. LOL. Oh well, will blog about it after I've watched it.

Scary Movie 5

2007-07-01T05:23:00.000+08:00

Coming out of the toilet, I saw Alex walking out of my room, smiling.
"What's wrong?" I asked."Nothing,"he replied.I walked into my room and switched on the light.

Strange,the blanket looks neat.Too neat in fact.

Suddenly, a white figure jumped out of the blanket and pounced at me.I screamed a high piercing scream and ran out of the room.And then...laughter.And a little bit of whacking.And scolding.

And yup,I got scared out of my wits.The white figure was Kit(my cousin).He purposely hid under the blanket to scare me.Monkey.Scared me like mad.

Next time,I'll make sure he's out in the living room before I go into my room.

To Kit:I'll get you back for this!!

Christchurch, NZ part III

2007-06-30T08:49:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday (23/06/07) I went to Victoria Square with Richard,his family and my aunties for Market Day.Didn't really know what to expect when I went there.There were people selling stuffs like souvenirs, food, and there were people singing and all.It was pretty cool.I'll let the pictures do the talking. There's Richard and me =) (my beanie looks funny LOL)

The lady in white on the right was playing with the children.So sweet.

Lo and behold.We found "Warisan Melayu".Malaysians! LOL.They were selling roti canai.Looks nice?It was stone cold.LOL I think it's because of the cold weather.

Ok these 2 fellas were just freaky.Looks real?That's because they are real!They were standing totally still.I don't know how they did it.LOL.The guy on the left (wearing the brown shirt) was standing totally still and when Richard and I looked at him,he turned,look at us and smiled.Haha.Then he turned back and stood totally still again.Freaky!!

Feels like autumn.LOL.

Kit(cousin from UK) and Alex (Richard's brother) came to Christchurch on Monday(25/6/07).Then on Tuesday (26/6/07), Richard, his family, Kit and I went to...

I ordered "Land Lovers" and this is what I got...

Nope.You're not seeing things.It is what it is.LOL.It's raw.Yup, raw meat on top of a very,very,very hot stone (or whatever you call it).LOL.The stone's hot enough to cook the meat.So yeah,basically, we cook the meat.Haha.My meat was partly burnt and some parts were, erm, shall we say medium rare.LOL.Had fun though.Kit ordered something (can't remember what's the name) and he was like, "It's half a kg of raw meat on top of the stone!" LOL.

My aunt (Richard's mom) ordered this.Seafood chowder.Yum.

Richard ordered this.The meat's on top of a potato.

Dessert....Cheese cake! Yum!!

That's all for today.Going to go karaoke with Richard and the others tomorrow.Will blog more bout it then.Bye!

Christchurch,NZ part II

2007-06-29T14:15:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps, I just got a flight back to Malaysia on the 2nd July.Which means I won't be missing any classes!Yay!LOL it was so hard to get a flight back from Christchurch to Malaysia.Don't know why.

Anyways, I went to a supermarket here called the Warehouse.Found the biggest shoe there.Size 17!!Was so shocked.

There're the 2 gigantic shoes.1 black 1 orange

There's the gigantic shoe and my shoe.LOL

Walked around the city one day(can't remember when).Took a few pictures and then went to Mum's 24! (Korean restaurant).Ate bul-go-gee there.It was so good.

Mum's 24

Bul-go-gee (it's beef). Yum =)

Another day I went to Mum's again and ate Kimchi Zigae(Richard told me it was nice)

Went to Cathedral Square.Christchurch Cathedral is so huge.Went inside and there was someone playing the organ.It was so peaceful.

Outside the Christchurch Cathedral

Inside Christchurch Cathedral (I didn't take this.Got it from the internet haha)

Outside the Cathedral

Christchurch Art Gallery(Didn't go inside though.haha)

Also fed the ducks.Somewhere ;)

Christchurch,NZ part III's coming up next.LOL.*phew*so much more to blog about.Till then.

Christchurch,NZ.

2007-06-28T03:36:00.000+08:00

Ok..I know I said I was going to blog when I get back to Malaysia.But since no one is hogging the computer for now and I have the chance to grab this computer *LOL*, I'll blog >.<>

Anyway,this is the 1st time I'm travelling overseas alone. Was a little scared but also excited.My flight was on the 16th of June (one day after my semester exam).Flew to Singapore and transit to Christchurch.Mom arranged for an escort to guide me when I reached Singapore.According to her, she's afraid I'll board the wrong plane and end up in Russia.LOL.*sweat*.Anyway, don't worry I did not board the wrong plane and end up in Russia.In fact, the escort didn't even show up.Haha.

The flight from Malaysia to Singapore was about an hour and from Singapore to Christchurch was about 8 hours.Watched Bridge to Terabithia(the ending was so sad) and Music and Lyrics(was hillarious).Slept for only 3 hours on the plane.Haha.I was sitting on the window seat and there was this Kiwi lady sitting beside me.She was really friendly and kind.

When I reached NZ,the customs searched my luggages.LOL.Took out everything.When they saw the amount of souvenirs I brought from Malaysia for my cousin in NZ, they thought I was opening a shop in NZ.*sweat*.

Anyway,met Richard(my cousin),aunt and uncle in airport.It was freezing!Winter in Christchurch =) .Missed Richard so much.Then my uncle took us to "Viaduct" for breakfast (It was about 10am).Ordered "The Big Breakfast".Was soo good =)

There's Richard and me in "Viaduct"

Ooo.Do you know the tap water here comes from spring water so the tap water is actually drinkable?Seriously.But it's only in Christchurch.Eversince I arrived Christchurch,I've been drinking tap water.LOL.

Visited Richard's highschool, Riccarton Highschool (on Friday).The library is so cool.There's a cafe there.

Had hot choc with Richard.Yum =)

That night went to eat hot pot in Hot Cha with Richard and his friends, Kelly,Jonathan and Chorong.Had a blast with them.Took some sticker photos =)

Clockwise from bottom>Chorong,Jonathan,Rich,Me,Kelly

Loads more to blog about but I think this blog post is already a little too long.Will tell you guys more about Christchurch.Bye!

If I may say this..NZ's awesome!!

2007-06-24T09:17:00.000+08:00

NZ's awesome. That's all I can say. Had so much activities here. Did so many things. So much to blog about. So many cool pics to post. But so little time to write. Will wait till I go back M'sia then I'll write one long blog post bout my wonderful time in NZ. :)

Till then, tatas

Tagged!! Oh My......

2007-06-22T07:48:00.000+08:00

Layer 1 : On The Outside

Name : Joanne Too Ee Ling Birthdate : 18/07/1989 Current Status : Single Eye Colour : brown Hair Colour : black with light brown highlights Righty or Lefty : righty

Layer 2 : On The Inside

My Heritage : chinese My Fears : lizards and injections My Weakness : I’m lame >.< My Perfect Pizza : seafood pizza

Layer 3 : Yesterday , Today , Tomorrow

My Thoughts First Waking Up : it’s cold! (I’m in NZ and it’s winter) My Bedtime : earliest 10pm till anytime My Most Missed Memory : I can’t remember >.<

Layer 4 : My Pick

Pepsi or Coke : Pepsi McD or Burger King : both Single or Group Dates : single Nike or Adidas : nike Tea or Nestea : nestea Chocolate or Vanilla : chocolate Cappucino or Coffee : cappucino

Layer 5 : Do You ...

Smoke : nope Curse : I can’t say no.But I try not to Take a Shower : of course Have a First Crush : yup.I was in kindergarden.haha Think You've Been in Love : maybe Go To School : yup Wanna Get Married : maybe Believe In Yourself : sometimes Think Your a Health Freak : no

Layer 6 : In The Past

Drank Alcohol : I can only stand shandy.Wine, beer and champagne too bitter for me >.< Gone To The Mall : loads of times Been On Stage : yup Eaten Sushi : yup Dyed Your Hair : yup

Layer 7 : Have You Ever ...

Played A Stripping Game : no Changed Who You Were To Fit In : sometimes

Layer 8 : Age Your Hoping ...

To Be Married : before 35

Layer 9 : In A guy...

Best Eye Colour : brown Best Hair Colour : brown. Or maybe black? Short or Long Hair : short

Layer 10 : What Were You Doing ...

A Minute Ago : eating fish and chips (the fish n chips in NZ is soo good) Hour Ago : was in Richard’s school library (Riccarton highschool) 5 Hours Ago : er.. in Richard’s school. Doing bio. 1 Month Ago : er..don’t remember Year Ago : er.. don’t remember >.<

Layer 11 : Finish The Sentences ...

I Love : God I Feel : happy cuz I’m in NZ with my cousin Richard I Hate : lizards I Hide : er..from scary people? I Miss : him. I wish I didn’t though :( I Need : to get a later flight back from nz

Layer 12 : Tag 5 People

Fu Han

Kit

Alex

Shen

Joanna

My very first blog post

2007-06-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps! The world is falling down!! Haha kidding. Maybe it's because I'm having a blog for the very 1st time. Haha. Anywayz, I was never really too keen to blog but one day I suddenly have this temptation to start blogging.

I want to blog about my journey with Him. Yes, Him. God. The One who has been and will be ever so real in my life. Just decided to blog about the many prayers He answered, the many miracles He did in my life and the many times He guided me in every aspect of life.

But of course, I'll also be blogging about other memorable stuffs like holidays, birthdays, etc etc. Credits are given to my dearest cousie, Richard Yap, who helped me customize and decorate my blog. Thanks bro!